Monday, April 5, 2010

Why? Oh Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we knowthe batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when theyalready know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe  you whenyou say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paintis still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duckswhen you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word lisp?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you usethe bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator withhopes that something new to eat willhave materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen timeswith their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put itdown to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end onyour first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed lightfixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our anklewith a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's allright?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "Fek it, that really hurt, whydon't you watch where you're going with that thing?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch somethingthat's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as itwas in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every fourpersons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three bestfriends - if they're okay, then it's you.


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